When did things start to become confusing when everything was so clear? Lord give me corrected vision so that I can see through your eyes. Help me Lord to understand that pain doesn't mean paralysis. I made sacrifices to be back home like leaving a job I was unhappy with, having no funds saved. After reflecting on my life, I realized that it's been 7 years of financial distress, so now I have to make a change. I am just in a state of cloudiness. I know I'll get through it but it's where I'm at right now. Again, Jesus is with me, He does love me, so I know I'm safe, I'm just trippin’ up in my mind a bit. The method to my madness is listening to Christian rap, praying, and staying in the Word. Literally that's all I have to cope. People think that people can always answer, provide, protect, and just be able to offer you exactly what you need at all times, but THAT'S A LIE. It's good to have people who love you but GOD knows us best. He can do everything for us even in a stormy time such as this one. As I go through some inner madness, I hope I can bless someone through some transparency. It's ok if you don't understand my writings, but if you feel it, if you're living it, just know that IT WILL BE ALRIGHT. Just be sure to push through it like I am. Life is always worth living because don't you want to see what's next? God has another chapter for all of us but we can't skip pages in our book. It doesn't happen like that. There are some uncomfortable words, some uncomfortable truths, but let us go through it together. I pray for your peace, strength, and healing.